Looking For A Church

I received an email at 8 AM yesterday. Since it was Sunday, I didn't see it until later that afternoon – after our little house church met in our living room, after we shared lunch together, after everyone had finally left to head their separate ways.

I opened the email about 3 PM. It was from someone named “Sylvia”. She was looking for a church.

Please advise when and where services will be. I live in Cedar Park. Thanks, Sylvia.

It felt a little odd, perfunctory perhaps. There was no context, no additional questions. Most of the people I hear from sound weary and/or wary; they usually have all sorts of questions. Also, Cedar Park is a long way from East Austin (30 minutes northwest). Still, none of those things are necessarily showstoppers.

Hi Sylvia, sorry I didn't see this until now! We meet at Sundays at 10 AM at my house here at [my address on East 12th] in East Austin. Our service runs until Noon, and then we share lunch afterwards. Usually done by 1 PM. Please let me know if you have any other questions! Christian.

She wrote back later that same evening.

Hi Christian, are you with the EPC? The planting pastor?

East 12th?!?! At best a long, long way for me. When I was living in Central Austin, that was the red-light district. Somewhat improved, now, I know. No locations north?

Hopefully, I can visit next week… I visited the PCA church up here today. I know there is a spectrum within EPC. How open, in your view, to evangelism and charismatics? (One would think that the Cumberlands might have room for at least the first, but alas.)

I suspect a lot of my readers will find this befuddling.

Allow me to translate (tongue in cheek): PCA is the “Perfect Church in America” – that’s who I was with when we planted All Souls Missoula. EPC is the “Easy Presbyterian Church” – that’s who All Souls Church of Austin is connected with now.

I’m joking about the acronyms, of course. But people find them funny precisely because they are on point: we Presbyterians tend to take ourselves way too seriously, we tend to get way too much identity from our particular flavor of faith, we tend to be deeply skeptical of anyone who is not our tribe.

(Note: Presbyterians are not the only ones with this predilection – this way of thinking that has infected all sorts of religious folks in America.)

That’s what concerns me here: Sylvia seems to be using denominational / theological categories as her primary lens for whether a church is good or bad. Of course, I don’t want to jump to conclusions. It’s entirely possible I might be wrong.

I wrote back to her again this morning.

Hi Sylvia, Yes, I am the planting pastor.

Right now, we all fit in one house. Cedar Park is a long way, and we don't have anyone who lives up there, so you might be difficult to really plug into the life of church here. There are some great churches up in your neck of the woods. I'd love to better understand what you are looking for?

More than happy to grab coffee or a beer if you'd prefer to chat in person (but I'd need to meet somewhere down here in East Austin).

Once again, she responded promptly:

Chris, Thanks a million for reaching out!!!!! I'll visit and then we will see if it is worthwhile to chat. Lots of good churches here? Wow, not that I know of.

Once again, I find her response curious.

First, I hate being called ‘Chris’ (but that’s my problem).

Second, I wonder if she really thinks conversation is secondary? Rather than starting relationally (then drawing conclusions based on what she’s learned about us, and giving us a chance to learn about her), if feels like she's taking a more transactional approach (if I visit and you check all the right boxes, then we will talk).

I’m not saying that’s wrong or bad per se; but if that’s how she operates, she’s going to be befuddled by people and churches that start with a more relational approach. Relationship is definitely part of our DNA here at All Souls.

It's the last line that bothers me most. Throughout the ages, Christians (at their best) have always argued that God’s kingdom is so big and all-encompassing that he never limits his work to just one denomination or church. I believe Jesus is working in all sorts of churches (not just Presbyterians). And I know several godly pastors with solid churches up in her neighborhood.

So I suggest she not overlook what might be lurking in her own backyard. (You might be amazed at some of the gems lurking in your own backyard too!)

Hi Sylvia, you're welcome to visit us here at All Souls, but I'd encourage you to check out my friend [Apostle Paul] at christoschurch.com or [Brother Barnabas] at trinitychurchatx.org

Paul & Barnabas are great guys. I find her response telling.

Chris, OMG!!! No, Christos Church is Anglican, not Reformed! (baptismal regeneration, very strange monastic spirituality and not friendly – not even respectful or civil or sane!) Not far from your location, either. Raised eyebrow.

Trinity I’ve never heard of. What? Oh, it is Acts 29 -- hostile to women. So so strange. Evangelistic maybe, but they really pull their punches around Holy Spirit topics.

Oh! If I could find some dedicated Christians who also were somewhat educated!

Alas… If these are your recommendations, then perhaps not worth the trip next weekend. Thanks for trying!

Ah, Sylvia... I would find this funny if it weren’t so sad! Folks like this rarely make it at All Souls – they visit once or twice and then move on.

(Unfortunately, that same scenario plays at out at almost every church they visit… unless they happen to find one that shares their same transactional / checklist approach. Then they are all happy little clams, smug in their enclave, for a while… until the whole thing blows up and eats itself and the cycle starts all over again).

I have a feeling Sylvia has a hard time finding churches.

A good friend of mine once said (wisely), “If you ever find a perfect church, don’t go there… because you will ruin it.”

He wasn’t kidding.

There are no perfect churches, because there are no perfect people; the sooner we realize that, the better off we’ll be. Instead of trying to fix others, we‘ll start by trying to figure out what Jesus wants to fix in us.

The “gospel” becomes “good news” (indeed, the best news ever, not just for me, but also for those around me) only if and when I start to make this shift.

Why am I writing about this, anyway? (Instead of working, like I ought to be).

The goal is not to beat up on Sylvia, but to prod all of us.

Let's compare her response with another “request for information” which I received from a woman named "Maria" earlier this year...